Understanding SELF- CARE

I've treated many individual's with emotional pain that is linked to a family member.  We all start somewhere in life and it's with a  "FAMILY. " As part of managing your self -care you will need to identify the people in your life that are toxic. These people will be the one's that are closest to you and may be your parent, child, sibling, or  partner in life.  When most of us think about family, we have this fantasy image. The image you see is everyone together laughing, smiling, loving each other,  talking problems out, and everyone is happy. The reality is, most families are dysfunctional and only dream of having happy moment's.  A lot of people don't even get a  few good memories to cling to.  So,  if you are one of the very few people who had the fantasy growing up or still do,  then you don't need to read this article because you already know how to apply these skills or someone showed you how to apply them in your life. 

This article is going to focus on how to get RID of the people in your life that make you suffer emotional pain by using self-care skills. I'm here to tell you that you don't have to suffer ever again. First let's identify a easy way to remember

SELF-CARE. 

S- support

E- effective

L- loving

F- forgiveness

C- character

A- authenticity

R- respect

E- expectation 

Using the following steps can improve your self-esteem, decision making, mood, and perception. Your perception until now has be polluted by your living environment and the environment you were raised in.  Your thinking is like the idea's and perception of the people that raised you or had a strong influence in your early years when your brain was developing.  Now, this doesn't mean that all of the events or values in your life were wrong or negative. I'm sure you've experienced  good moment's in your life, but for one reason or another  the scary and negative out weighed the happy and positive. Sometimes the unwise decision making follow's you into the forever free falling ride also know as LIFE.   The one thing you can predict in life is that life is unpredictable.  Its time you learn how to navigate the long journal ahead of you. 

SELF-CARE - Support

Support is a important part of your self -care. Support can at times look real, but when you look closer it's really just your mind's way of tricking you into believing it is support. So, what does real support look like? Healthy support looks like the following  :  to carry, hold, reinforce, help, money, time, and presence. If time and presence is missing from the equation as you ponder the meaning, then stop reading right now. Go get a pen and paper and right down the name of the person or persons that lack this quality. This person is not helping you, not really!  Again, your mind will say, but they... insert a reason of your choice. You can keep doing this, but the reality of the  situation isn't all that healthy. In order to be supportive in a meaningful and healthy way there must be time and presence!  Time is a indefinite continues progress of existence AND presence is the act of existing around  a person or place.  Surround  yourself  with healthy supportive people.  Only then will you feel truly supported. This person or persons looks something like the following: They have a good understanding of your needs,  they will find a way to carry you and not allow you to go without, they show up when you ask for help, they don't judge you, they encourage you when you're fearful, they give you their time and are present.  Humans need other humans to truly live free.  Here is a small scale example on how to be supportive. 

I have a 3 year old daughter, her name is Maci Grace.  All Maci Grace wants from me is my time and presence.  I can lay on the floor in her room and not say a word and give her support. As I type this article now, she is spinning my chair, pulling my hair, making messes around me and yelling at me to stop typing. Why? Because I'm not giving her my time and I'm not present in her mind. Maci Grace will leave me when she realizes that I'm not changing my behavior. She will come back soon to try once again to whisk me away to spend time with her. My time and presence is so important to her,  but how important is it to me?  Short Pause,   It's important enough that I plan to stop typing AND will finish the article later.  I'm making the mindful effort to support her need of my time and presence and taking it away from myself.  I'm feeling healthy today so I can mentally afford to donate my time and presence to her and less to myself.  

Go support yourself or someone else in a meaningful way today. Give 100% support in order to promote self-care. Identify where support is missing in your life and plan to make a wise mind decision to resolve this problem. Feel free to ask question's or message me.  

STAY TUNE FOR HOW TO BE  EFFECTIVE